When the required reading list for the Freshman Honors seminar was posted I had a strange mix of feelings. The first thought to come to my mind was "Woo hoo! I get to go to Barnes and Noble!" upon which I hopped into the family car and drove to the nearest bookstore. Upon purchasing $50 worth of novels I realized just how hefty this higher learning stuff was going to be. "Oh my," I pondered, "This novel has 796 pages. How am I ever going to finish just this one?" The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky's last and greatest novel. All I had to say was... Bring it on.
At this point in time I have read about one third of the novel. I am on track with the syllabus and am enjoying the in class discussions about the story and its characters. While I know for certain that not everyone finds this novel to be an enjoyable read because of the long tirades and numerous characters, I have a great interest in "The Brothers."
While I do not recommend the novel for a leisurely weekend read, I would like to share a bit of the story with you. This excerpt is a quote from one of the Karamazov brothers to another, Ivan to the younger Alyosha. Ivan is cold and critical. He is known for his sharp intellect and deep logic, as well as his rejection of faith and his strange philosophies about life. I found it odd and inspiring that these beautiful words came from such a harsh character:
"I want to go to Europe, Alyosha, I'll go straight from here. Of course I know that I will only be going to a graveyard, but to the most, the most precious graveyard, that's the thing! The precious dead lie there, each stone over them speaks of such ardent past life, of such passionate faith in their deeds, their truth, their struggle, and their science, that I--this I know beforehand--will fall the the ground and kiss those stones and weep over them--being wholeheartedly convinced, at the same time, that it has all along been a graveyard and nothing more. And I will not weep from despair, but simply because I will be happy in my shed tears. I will be drunk with my own tenderness. Sticky spring leaves, the blue sky, I love them, that's all! Such things you love not with your mind, not with logic, but with your insides, your guts, you love your first young strength..." (230).
Perhaps the imagery is gruesome, but I just love that line: "you love them with your insides, your guts!" Here are some things I love with my guts:
Walks after breakfast
Blue skies
Happy goldfish
Perfectly brewed tea
Flowers that bloom into autumn
Calls from home
Finding the perfect position to read in
Heirloom jewelry
Understanding chemistry
Wearing hats
Smiling and holding doors for other people
...basically anything that makes me want to sing and dance is gut-loving worthy.
Dostoevsky, Fyodor. The Brothers Karamazov. Farrar, Straus and Giroux: New York, 2002.
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